So as you might know, we recently had our first wedding anniversary, which strangely enough was a little stressful and as disappointing as the few days before our wedding day. It didn’t exactly go to plan, proving again that life isn’t perfect, no matter how much you plan for it. I’ve had a lot of time spent in bed (alone of course) feeling sorry for myself over the last few weeks, which left me with a lot of time to think. OK don’t worry, I’m not about to run off with the postman (Urg, he’s older than my Grandad!) but it has made me reflect on what I’ve discovered about marriage over our last year of wedding bliss. Bliss- ha. Unless you’re Hugh Hefner or Paris Hilton, everyday simply can’t be perfect. Life is stressful and forever testing your patience, your tenacity, your wit…and most of all your relationship. Some days are brilliant, some are OK, some are pants and some are simply lets-just-go-to-sleep-and-start-again-tomorrow. So after A LOT of thought and editing…(who knew there were so many thoughts that sounded so offensive on paper!) here are my Reflections on a Year of Marriage…
A Spare Bed comes in handy…especially for those occasions when one thinks he’s still 21 and has had a few too many shots than he can handle. Cleaning up your husband’s sick at 3am is always a pleasure.
All of a sudden you’re having conversations about life insurance. I’m sorry, was my life not worth insuring before we were married?
Some days your most riveting discussions can be about each others bowel movements. Like I said, you have good days and bad days.
It doesn’t matter if the thing he’s looking for had a neon sign on it saying “Here I am Jack- right where Katie said I was“- he still wouldn’t find it.
Say what’s really bothering you…don’t let it fester, say it there and then and in the moment. Both know when the other is cheesed off, so there is no point in prolonging the ‘debate.’ Clear the air and move on. The silent treatment never works– in fact they prefer that – if they even notice that’s what you’re giving them, so it’s better for everyone if you speak up.
Delegate jobs from the get go…If you are both working full time there is simply no reason why one should have to spend her days off maintaining a joint household. Dish out the jobs and stick to them. Life will be a lot cushier in the long run.
Men have Periods. I really don’t care what biology says- men have some sort of PMS situation going on and I know there’s some genius (female- of course) scientist working in a lab in Switzerland or somewhere just trying to figure out what the heck it is. They have “off” weeks just like us ladies do. The only difference being is that they can go swimming all year round and don’t bloat. Now that you’re married their moments of hormone lunacy seemingly coincide with yours resulting in one harmonious household. Lovely.
Make time for each other…it can be so easy to plod on through life, but it’s important to still have date nights away from work and home life. Even if it’s as romantic as a cafe lunch (yes the greasy-spoon type venues where you can get a heart attack for £5.95) if it’s time spent together- cherish it. Even the ‘Nothing Days’ are the most special days.
In sickness and in health…now here’s an aspect of our marriage that has been seriously tested over the last few months and I’ve come to the conclusion that as soon as I start to lose my marbles, I want putting in a nursing home. It will be the easier option for me. Perhaps there I wont have to send endless pleas via Whatsapp just to get a glass of water or bowl of soup…
Apparently it’s OK to film each other when you’re sleeping to prove that they snore. This is where that spare bed would also come in handy. It’s always a great day when you get to work and receive a message from your husband to tell you that you have to move out because you snore. Here’s proof that the Hubster stalks me in my sleep…oh and that I do actually snore…brilliant…
Romance isn’t just about flowers and gifts…it’s about making dinner for each other, making cups of tea, checking in to see how their day went, running them a bath, picking up a parcel or dry cleaning for each other, or making sure the other gets home safely from a night out. One of the loveliest things in the world is knowing that someone cares about you.
Do you have any reflections and thoughts on your own marriage experience?
Until next time,
With Love & Marriage Reflections,
Images: Marriage Humour 1 //