People joke about hormonal women, but I’d just like to point out here that we never get in a tizz over nothing. Oh no, there is always a perfectly good reason as to why we are sent into an emotional, and seemingly unreasonable, stark raving bonkers flame of rage. But this week it would appear that my hormones were a tad more sensitive than usual. At one point I had to take a moment to ask myself: “who is this person?” This crazy woman who can go from being as cool as a cucumber to a red faced foul mouthed monster in the space of a nano-second? Who is she?
Here’s just a taster of the encounters I have experienced this week that sent my blood pressure souring and I have to say that I prefer the ’emotional floods of tears over nothing’ side to pregnancy hormones… here’s hoping they return soon and send this angry bird away for a well needed lie down. You have been warned…!
You’ll be surprised to hear that on this occasion I’m not referring to the constipated slash pregnancy induced wind. Oh no, I’m referring to the gusts that were sprung upon us this week whipping us all in a twister frenzy. I just love walking around looking like Cousin It’s girlfriend all day long, don’t you? Grrr…!
Have We All Forgot Our Manners?
Does nobody say thank you anymore? Seven times yesterday, seven times!!! I pulled over to let another car drive past and not one of those morons said thank you. It’s so easy. You just lift your spare hand (unless you only have one of course and what would be the chances of that) and it gestures a simple, but welcomed ‘thank you‘. Simples. Twonks.
What is the point in them? Someone please tell me. They don’t give back anything to the environment or the community, other than pooping on people from a great height. Or making us look like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz doing the hokey cokey after an epidural as you dodge them flying straight towards you down the high street. If you’d have handed me a pellet gun this week, I would have made the papers… “Crazy pregnant chick massacres pigeon because it made her duck”.
I swear I’ve got Apple updates coming out my butt hole (well nothing else is escaping it right now…) seriously I spend more time updating my virtual life and staring at that spinning wheel of death more than anything else. I fear at some point this week I’ll have to update everything entirely after I throw it all out the window. Aghhh…!
Express Check Out- My Butt Cheeks
These ‘fast service‘ tills are supposed to save you time, but I’m yet to experience this so called perk. It’s not that I’ve got to scan and pack my own items, it’s because of that moronic virtual twit who sits inside the screen with the soul purpose in life to irritate the flying pants off everyone with a single line: ‘please place your item in the bagging area‘. Oh it sends waves of fury right through me and this week I almost nutted the virtual twit with a tub of organic humous, which was in fact sitting perfectly in the centre of the damn ‘bagging area’.
Not bothering to wait for an actual human to come along and tap their secret squirrel code into virtual twit to make her shut up, I decided to start thumping the ‘bagging area’ with my tub of humous. All the while people are starting to stare, but I couldn’t care less as my raging hormones tell me that I’m well within my rights here. Virtual twit is in the wrong not me.
Finally supermarket human comes to my rescue only to gently place my battered tub of humous on the bagging area to my left, instead of the right one which had been taking a good hammering for absolutely no reason. Ooops. Hormones 1, Katie 0.
So much for staying calm and stress free. Sorry Baby Bean, mammas finding these hormones you’re currently cooking up quite a handful…
What has sent you over the edge this week…please say it’s not just me on the verge of ripping my head off and turning into the hulk?
Until next time,
With Love &