After a very long two day induction, (again without any pain relief until my waters had to be broken, a procedure that will forever leave me wincing every time I set eyes on a small hook. I’ll share all the details at some point. Lucky you!) on Sunday 7th May at 4.09am, the Hubster and I welcomed our second daughter, Billie Rose Albury into the world weighing a perfect 7lbs 1oz and we couldn’t be more in love.
The last three weeks have been a complete blur, trying to adjust to life with two babies under two, which of course means working on a constant carousel of changing nappies, feeding, cuddles and comforting each one in turn. How the bloody hell do people do this with twins? Or triplets. Or numerous small people all of whom aren’t sleep-potty-or unable to communicate what the actual heck it is that they want-trained. How do those people manage? Because for me, it most definitely is a whole new mine field just getting everyone down the stairs in one piece in the morning, let alone navigating through an entire bloody day.
Even though the weeks are flying past, I’m yet to be on my own with both of them for longer than a morning. I’ve been making mental notes on how I can muster up some sort of routine with the two of them and I’ve been planning, with military precision, as to exactly how I’ll ever leave the house by myself with the both of them. Ideally with all of us fed, watered and wearing something that doesn’t resemble pyjamas. A task I’m clearly putting off for as long as possible. But with most things, I’m hoping that the thought of it is actually worse than the reality. She really really hopes.
But in all honesty, life with a newborn is already very different the second time around. Everyone said it would be, but having only ever known the baby who never slept from the moment she burst into this world with her extremely healthy set of lungs, it was hard to envision life being anything but painfully exhausting again. However, in true second child style, Billie has subtly nestled into our lives with ease, giving us all the opportunity to adjust and adapt to our new way of life quite nicely, something that we all really needed, particularly Elsie.
Sadly, she didn’t take the arrival of her little sister too well at first, something that I’ll talk more about another time. Elsie’s reaction to Billie’s homecoming was heartbreaking and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think back to how upset and disrupted she was that first night we brought her little sister home. But Billie has allowed us to give Elsie the attention she needs to feel supported and safe during this unsettling time. Something that we are certain would be a very different scenario if Elsie had been the second baby to arrive.
With her big blue eyes and beautiful dainty features, Billie is an absolute breath of fresh air. Her hair is immaculately shaped around her perfect little face. She has the longest fingers and her nails were neatly rounded as if she’d had a little manicure before her arrival. Her feet are really long too and we already call them her flippers. She’s so chilled and calm and is easily comforted as long as she’s been fed and winded. She doesn’t like being moved if she’s in a comfortable sleep and will cry out as if to say, “leave me alone, I’m quite happy here thanks!” She is a delicate rose who has immediately restored harmony and balance within our little family and we are so in love and content.
Each day feels a little easier and surprisingly life is so much more normal than it was the first time around, even though the time and the days seem to run away without me even more than before. My arms are constantly full with one of the girls, which is altogether wonderful, but also really hard. I’m learning how to manage our new life, particularly how to give each one enough of my time and attention that means neither misses out. Something that I’m sure no parent ever feel that they achieve successfully. Have I played with Elsie enough today? Have I stared at every detail of my new daughter’s face enough, just like I did with Elsie? Have I taught Elsie anything new today? Have I cuddled Billie enough today and made the most of her newborn size. Snuggled her up on my chest and breathed in her beautiful new scent enough? The thoughts are endless, but deep down I know I’m doing my best and I know that we’re going to be more than alright.