I’m 99.9% sure that our family is complete.
The remaining 0.1% is only because I always wanted three children, but ideals don’t always live up to the reality and so I think it’s safe to say that we are complete.
With Billie now a fully fledged one-year-old and probably only a few weeks away from entering toddler-waddler-territory, I’ve been thinking back a lot to the baby days. Thanks to that good-old Time Hop App, the past is easier to recall and it’s only just dawning on me that we won’t be doing it again.
I always wondered how you would know when you’re done, (as they say) and it became alarmingly apparent to me when I’ve visited three separate friends who had recently had babies, and I didn’t even ask to hold their newborns. If my hands were free from my own sprogs, then my hands were staying free. Of course, I took gifts and at least acknowledged each new addition, but did it make my ovaries go all slushy. Nope. I’ve also been overly keen to ship up to the loft as much baby paraphernalia as possible lately. Bye bye ankle breaking baby walker. See-ya-never-again Sleepyhead and Steriliser.
So I think that I’m done having babies.
There are so many things about this stage that I won’t miss. Mostly the fears, the pains and those early intense-newborn-sleepless-worry-fuelled days. I haven’t found the baby-stage easy. Those days are really really tough. But in amongst all the hard stuff and the sleep-deprived fogginess, there are also a lot of things that I will miss about the baby days.
7 Things I’ll Miss About The Baby Days
For all, it’s fears, worries, discomforts and pain-in-the-arse needles, pokes, prods and hands up your foof. I know I’ll miss being pregnant again. It was a privilege, a gift, and I’ll always be thankful that medicine, science and my body allowed me to experience such an amazing thing.
I always thought I’d feel grotesque being pregnant and that nature would have a field day with my body. But I loved it. I adored my bump and for the first time in my life, I loved dressing my body. I was proud of what it was doing and I felt that smug glow even when my feet ballooned and my bladder ached with every move.
Oh, the flutters and the kicks. It’s funny how reassuring these movements become as you take full responsibility for keeping your Baby safe. The best part of each day was in the evening when you could finally put your feet up and concentrate on each movement. Spending some precious time just embracing those feelings and stroking your beautiful tummy.
There is nothing quite as special as seeing that fuzzy blob at those long-awaited scans too. With its big head and tiny limbs flailing about the screen at each stage of pregnancy. To know that you already love something with every fibre of your being is an incredible feeling. I used to hold my breath for what felt like forever until the sonographer would say that everything was OK. To hear that heartbeat and to feel that reassurance that Baby was happy and growing and doing everything you hoped it should be doing is something I’ll treasure forever.
This is pretty much top of my list if I’m honest. I’m a sucker for everything baby related. Ooh, a self-cleaning bib that soothes baby to sleep whilst playing music and projects stars on the ceiling whilst curing teething bouts and world peace? I’ll have two. Oh, how I’ll miss buying beautiful baby blankets and a bazillion gorgeous muslins because you need a bazillion! Buying frocks (fake crocs) and Peppa Pig crap just doesn’t have the same appeal, does it?
Perhaps not an obvious choice. But oh that sense of achievement and relief that comes with giving birth to your baby is something truly euphoric and magical. Nothing in life will ever top that for me and it was a true turning point in my life which made me realise a) how bloody strong I am and b) how bloody amazing women are…however baby exits the body, we are all superwomen.
I don’t mean the obvious new baby smells- the milk sick, the dodgy green duck poo infused poo which moves onto the bizarre nutty smelling epic pooplosions. I mean that new baby smell. Oh, how I’ll miss that beautiful new baby scent. You just wish you could bottle it. It’s simply delicious and it’s a great aroma to cover up the fact that you haven’t probably haven’t been able to wash for a few days.
The hours you could waste ingulfed in new baby snuggles. Hours. Sadly these become less achievable when additional sprogs come along, so you get them in wherever you can, and for as long as possible. The way they scrunch up and nestle in between your boobs. Perfect positioning for overdosing on those divine head sniffs. Mmmm…
“I’ve just had a baby” is the excuse to top all excuses. Pass me the biscuits. Exercise? you must be joking. I’m late, oh wait that one lasts forever with kids doesn’t it? Getting emotional over a mattress advert on TV – that’s allowed. Crying at the end of each day – totally acceptable. The tiredness and the forgetfulness – all acceptable. The house looks like Mothercare has been raided by a bunch of chimpanzees – it’s absolutely fine. It’s just when you finally ease out of the baby-days that these excuses become less acceptable and that sucks…pass me the biscuits!
Oh, that precious bubble. As you adjust to your new life and new addition, nothing else in the world matters except you and them. A time when, as royally shite as you might feel, (and look) the love and excitement that you’re feeling is something pretty special. It makes everything else seem irrelevant. Anything goes during this time. It’s all about getting to know each other.
Staring at your baby’s beautiful feet and their hands. Every crease, every curve, every single feature and all of the details that you want to badly to etch in your memory and in your heart. A time to take it slow. To absorb every breath and every moment. Recovering and readjusting. Learning and discovering and just simply trying to find your feet again. (literally, if you haven’t been able to see them for a few months!)
It’s new, it’s exciting and it’s also so worrying. The sleeplessness makes it all seem so fuzzy and the days appear to take their time rolling around. But it does pass. As much as you want to nut people who say that to you whilst you’re in the midst of the new baby fog.
I’m excited about the next stages now. This is where it starts to get fun. The first waddles and first words. I’m so ready for it. Who doesn’t love a good standoff with a toddler anyway?